Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
