Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
