I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
