I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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