How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
now i know why i became what i already was.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
