I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
3pm strippers are depressing
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
