Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
