I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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