If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize