kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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