I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
The air taste purple.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
