You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
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I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
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Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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