I need to stop coming to work sober
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
