his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
