just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Damn victory sex feels great
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize