How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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