I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
