i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize