If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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