My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Panties = found
Randomize