i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
