just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
