I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
