i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
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Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
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I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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