I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
