Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
