It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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