yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
so let's talk penis.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
