Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
