I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
