a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
