It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
