As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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