Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize