So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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