I forgot how hot balto sounded
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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