Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Randomize
