im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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