He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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