cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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