he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
