we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
