he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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