so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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