Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You ruined the universe
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i out mim tonsoeep
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