either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
