Im at strip club and am horny
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
They took my balls.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
