bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I could fuck to npr.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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