Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
