You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
