so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
