You're completely useless in the revolution.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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