mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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