Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
