Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
