I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
