This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She's the barista slut.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
