the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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