Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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